adrenaline!

so… i don’t know if this really qualifies as happy stuff, but we’ll get around to that.

this morning i woke up rather abruptly, certain that i had heard someone walking around inside our house. i’d heard the stairs creak and the kitties aren’t heavy enough to make them creak. i’d heard the swish of pants. i thought i’d heard footsteps. i was totally freaked. my first instinct was to syrup-titiously* tug the sheet over my naked knee which had been sticking out from under the covers. as soon as i’d done that, i felt a little ridiculous–i mean, am i embarrased to be showing a little knee? my next instinct was to be very silent and pretend i was still sleeping so that the intruder would not realize i was awake and then feel forced to kill me so that i couldn’t identify him in a line-up. i reassured myself that he could take whatever he wanted, it was all only “stuff.” then i heard a muffled cat squawk and worried that he was killing our cats (mr. h-s pointed out later that i unfairly assumed it was a “he”) and got worried as i realized we had nothing really worth stealing, so maybe he was just here to kill us. psychotically. i lay frozen in my bed, heart pounding as i went over the details of my life–what would i leave behind? what missed opportunities (like better locks on the doors)? who would miss me? i looked at my clock and realized that it was 6:15 and i said to myself, “this is silly. no one would break into a house this close to morning! unless they’re a psycopath…” and i heard another creak and swish. i finally decided that if these were our last living moments together, that i would like to spend them cuddling with my husband, so i quietly turned to snuggle and tried to still my heart. soon, mr. h-s started to wake up a little and i whispered, “i think there’s someone in the house.” and he said, “do you want me to go look?” and i pictured him walking into the hallway and getting bashed over the head and i said, “no, let’s just lie here a little longer.” eventually, his alarm clock went off. i hadn’t heard any more noises from the hall and our cat had come into the room and curled up on the bed. this was a good sign. if she was scared at all she would have been cowering under the bed. if she had been strangled…. well, she wouldn’t be purring, that’s for sure. so, mr. h-s got up (and i thought, “put some clothes on!” but i didn’t say anything–i mean, if he was going to see an intruder it was their own fault if he was in his skivvies.) and went to the bathroom (this was a relief. if there had been someone in the hallway, i’m pretty sure he would have said something. or at least closed the door.) and then walked through the house. he came back to bed and told me that all the doors were locked and there was no one here. it must have just been the cats. and the rug they like to play violently with. i felt relieved, but i still didn’t get out of bed for another twenty minutes. it just felt safer there.

so, i guess the happy part of all of this is that i’m fine. the cats are fine. the house is fine. my illusion of security has not in actuality been breached. and once again, i’ve been reminded of the things in my life that are most important to me.

*hank the cowdog once said that surreptitiously is based on the root word “syrup” and refers to the fact that you’re moving as slowly and smoothly as aforementioned sweet liquid.