so the short story behind this quilt is that after 4+ years of trying various methods to start our family, we are thrilled to be anticipating a domestic open newborn adoption possibly sometime in the next 5 weeks or so. there’s a whole lot of weighty words in that sentence, so feel free to read through it a few times.
during those years, this blog, where i can come to focus on happy things, has sustained me and reminded me to come back out of some very dark holes and remember that there are still good things in life.
the friendships gained and new crafts learned online have proven to be fantastic distractions and have brought me so much joy. thank you all for being there.
and now, although there may will probably be more bumps in our road to familyhood, i’m feeling confident that we are on the right path to bringing a new human into our family (as rebekah put it) and so i’ve created this quilt. there’s an old legend that says that a red thread connects the hearts of people who are meant to be together in life. in this quilt, the red thread connects our hearts to our baby’s, but also to his birthmother because she is an integral part of this story and she will become a member of our family too. sort of like when you marry and gain a whole new family of in-laws. sort of.
i don’t plan on turning happy stuff into a mushy gushy baby blog, but i may have to post a few baby-related projects over the next few days. i’ve been keeping them a secret for so long and now i want to show them all to you! and so, my apologies to anyone who’s not at a place in their lives where baby chat is interesting. i won’t be offended if you skip past the next few posts, but please come back later! i’ll do my best to get back to the regularly scheduled program soon!
but until then, here are answers to some questions you’ll be likely to ask:
1. yes, it’s a boy.
2. the birthmother lives in texas. (where i spent 5 of my childhood years)
3. yes, she could still change her mind and choose to parent. in texas, birthmothers must wait at least 48 hours after birth before they can choose to sign adoption papers. no binding agreement of any sort can be made before that. if she were to choose to parent, we’d go back into a pool of prospective adoptive parents and wait to be chosen again.
4. we began our adoption process last may, finished our homestudy in september and were matched (meaning a birthmother chose us by reading a “profile” (a 6-page scrapbook of us) we’d created for that purpose) in november. yes, it’s been a blessedly speedy process for us and yes, we absolutely know how lucky we’ve been.
5. we went to texas to meet her in person last month and i think all of us enjoyed the opportunity to get to talk in person. she’s funny, talkative and refreshingly honest. she told us that she picked us because we looked like regular, normal people, but a little big goofy. yup. that’s us.
6. no, we still haven’t decided on a name.
7. yes, i pieced all of those circles, front and back, using dale fleming’s 6-minute circle technique. it really is quite easy.
anything else?
Oh I am so happy for you – and I wouldn’t care at all if it turned into a “mushy gushy baby blog”…I’ll be praying for you all – can’t imagine the emotions you must be going through right now!
What a beautiful keepsake for your future child! :)
i will pray for you and your possibility that you won’t have to suffer more ‘dark holes’. believe me, i understand parts of that anguish.
my only question is about the name–the birth mother doesn’t pick it? i guess i’m not aware of all the aspects of domestic adoption. my friends have all adopted internationally, and the name is already picked out, though that could be because the kids are a bit older when they ‘get them’.
good question! with infant open adoption naming is a little more collaborative. Well, there’s no proscribed way for it to work, each situation has the opportunity to decide how they want to proceed. In our situation, we’d like to make sure that the name we choose isn’t one she hates, but she hasn’t insisted on any specific name and has basically told us that it’s up to us to name him.
congratulations! adoption is so much more exciting than a homegrown baby, because you are going up against tons of people for the job of parents, and you got picked!! that is awesome. your future little guy is very lucky!
Your quilt is really fantastic and the story behind it is so sweet and full of exciting thoughts for the future.
Congratulations! I am very happy for you and yours. The birthmother chose some amazing parents and I am confident you will all grow happily together.
I’ve been lurking on your blog for a while — I think I commented once before, but don’t remember where now. A HUGE congratulations! How very, very exciting. And what a super sweet quilt. The story of the red lines on the quilt is really lovely. Best wishes!
Congratulations! I will be sending you lots of good thoughts in these next couple of weeks. I will spare you the unsolicited advice on taking care of a newborn but my baby is 3 months now, so if you have any questions on newborn baby gear or care, please feel free to contact me.
what wonderful news and congratulations for that!! I am one of those people who not have a baby in their lives now, but I love read life stories like yours, so I’ll keep coming for more. my best wishes for your family!!!
ps. ohhh that quilt is totally adorable!!! you did an amazing job with it!
Congratulations! That is “happy stuff” indeed. Sounds like a lucky baby to be able to join your family…and to be cuddled up in that lovely quilt to boot. I look forward to seeing your baby craft projects. People won’t mind if you go “mushy gushy baby blog”! It’s hard to avoid as a new mom.
Carissa! I wish you so much luck with the growth of your family! My cousin welcomed a newborn via domestic adoption just last month. This is after a baby last year that was almost there’s until the mother decided to keep her…it seems that it is definitely wise to prepare for the worst along with the best, but my goodness, how exciting. I kinda guessed that was what the quilt was about, but didn’t know if maybe I was projecting because I was so excited for my cousin!
there’s + theirs. wow, grammar!
Stunning interpretation of the adoption process…would be a gorgeous quilt even without the story, but, wow. Hope everything goes your way and we get a peek at the new family member soon!
gorgeous gorgeous quilt! the fabrics, colors, quilting and embroidery are perfect. I can’t wait to hear how your story progresses. :)
sooo delighted to learn of this adoption news! you and mr happy stuff have all my best wishes. a dear friend went through this process recently (they had to be near atlanta, ga, for 10 days prior to christmas!) they now have their darlilng munchkin, even brought her to our house for a new year’s eve party so we could meet her at under one month old!!!
since i love babies and adoption stories, i’m as intent as ever to peek in on your blog frequently!
Congratulations! And such a beautiful quilt.
the story makes this quilt so special. congrats and good luck!
I have been in your shoes and therefore I am so excited for you. Parenting through adoption is wonderful. My little one is the greatest blessing we have ever received. Enjoy every moment of this new adventure.